Canada

Being British in Canada

As the only British resident of Lake Moraine (where I am living in Lake Louise) I thought I’d give a brief insight into what life is like in the Rockies for a born and bred Brit…

1) Loads of layers
In the UK, we’re used to wrapping up. We know full well that we ought to take a jacket with us if the sky is full of grey clouds. But more often than not us English forget, or actively choose not to, bring the necessary outer garments, usually out of laziness or sheer vanity. And we can just about get away with this decision, the only punishment for this being the constant fear of erect nipples.

The thing is, when you’re in Canada, the no-coat option simply does exist…
UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE
The concept of leaving your home without a thick winter coat is unheard of, and the same goes for top and bottom thermals, seventeen pairs of thick socks, and an obligatory woolly hat.
Instead of admiring other people’s quirky fashion choices, here in Lake Louise I have found myself taking note of other people’s innovative methods of keeping warm.

As you can imagine, wearing a million layers of clothing makes this ‘going to the toilet’ business hugely difficult. Those ice cold toilet seats really don’t make the whole ordeal any easier either.

2) Forgetting Sarah Marshall has ruined my life

 I cannot even begin to express my new found hatred for this film. Thanks to Forgetting Sarah Bloody Marshall, I have heard this phrase over 289 times *approx* in the last three weeks.

Sure, you’ve worked out I’m from England.
Sure, you’re trying to impersonate a typical London accent by quoting a scene from a funny film.
But NO, you’re not Paul Rudd, and no-one in London calls it LAN-DAN, alright mate?!

I can’t even continue with this particular observation, it stresses me out too much.

3) Time difference

I’m slowly getting to grips with the fact I am 7 hours behind all my friends and family at home,
but it is still a royal pain in the arse.

If I wanna call in the evening, they’re all asleep.
If anyone wants to talk to me in the morning, I’m unavailable until roughly 2pm, SOZ.

The concept of time is something that greatly confuses me, but that’s another story.
Thankfully I think my body clock has got used to the whole ‘living in the past’ thing now,
just about.

dude what time is it today or tomorrow

4) The Royal Family

So in general, everyone just seems to presume I’m really pally with the Royal fam, as if every English person bumps into them on a regular basis…
(this particular observation is more funny than it is annoying, and I tend to play along with it)

I have also noticed that almost everyone I meet seems unable to fight the urge to shout random things at me that they associate with England, anything from The Inbetweeners to Nigel Thornberry…

5) Money Problems

I don’t think I will ever fully get my head around the exchange rate between Canadian dollars and English pounds, and don’t even get me started on these Loonies and Toonies.

A beer here costs around $8, and that’s apparently a fairly reasonable price, but it baffles me that a $10 bill can be spent almost entirely on one drink…and yes I realise there is an exchange rate but it is still taking me a while to accept it.

BUT, good news for me, tipping is sort of seen as compulsory here; Canadians are simply more generous towards their servers, and I guess they just don’t know any different.

However, this does mean that Jeff from the B&G has been making a killing from all us foreigners living in Lake Moraine who are still grasping the 20% service rate, and as a result are massively over tipping, in fear of being known as cheap…

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